Birth details............

My apologies for the delay in posting this, I had meant to post it right away.........our laptop crashed while I was in the hospital & in all honesty it was at the bottom of our priority list right now. It still isn't fixed, but we have another computer set up (from hubby's business) that I am now using.

So on the night of the 18th I started bleeding & having pains every 10 minutes or so. I still wasn't sure if that was what contractions were or not, as it was definitely uncomfortable, but not "unbearable" (although I must admit that while I don't have the highest pain tolerance in the world, I certainly don't have a low one either) So I called the triage line at the hospital & they told me if the bleeding became heavy or my water broke to come in. She said with a first baby it's gonna take a really long time & I needed to wait until I had "unbearable" contractions every 2 minutes for at least 2 hours before I came in. I have to admit that bit about the contractions sounds questionable to me & it's not what my doc told me.........but I didn't go in.

The next morning I was still having pain every 10 minutes or so & was still bleeding. We skipped church, I really wasn't feeling up to it & we were worried about my water breaking or me going into full blown labor in the middle of church. I just rested most of the day. By afternoon the pains were lasting longer & getting a little closer together. After they got to about every 3 minutes or so & were getting more intense I told hubby I wanted to go. We didn't know what traffic would be like (it was good, thank God) & I did't want to risk having the baby in the car.

When we got there they hooked me up & said I was having contractions.  They admitted that they were very strong contractions, yet I was only dilated to barely 1 cm. She had me walk for an hour in the halls. The contractions started to get more painful then. Several hours later I finally asked for an epidural (I wasn't 100% decided if I was going to get one or not) & they said I needed to be at least 3 cm dilated to get one & I still was barely 2 cm at this point. So they gave me medication in an IV (stadol). I have to admit this was my biggest mistake. At this point I was much more miserable. Things became very blurry to me, I can't recall exactly how it all panned out, the pain med made me somewhat confused. I do remember my water breaking & I do remember getting the epidural finally (THANK YOU LORD!!)--that was the greatest thing ever.

Prior to me getting the stadol for pain I was able to mentally control my tolerance of the pain.  Once I got the stadol I lost that ability.  So then I was just trying to sleep it off & I would doze off, but then I would wake up feeling like an earthquake, or wave actually, was rolling over me & I would wake up really scared & suddenly remember that I was pregnant & in labor.  It was really not a nice experience.  I don't recommend getting anything BUT the epidural if you have that option.  It's funny how I was so out of it, yet I was also so very aware of the fact that I was so out of it.

Also my blood pressure was super high (not a problem I have EVER had, not even during my pregnancy) & I wasn't putting out any urine & I ended up having a fever too.   I was starting to go into heart failure, though I don't know what the fever was about.

Then I was told to rest so I would have energy to push when I was finally dilated. The dilating seemed to be my biggest problem, there was no progress being made. Somewhere around midnight, I think, I was dozing off & hubby had gone to get a snack & the nurses rushed in & turned me on my side & put oxygen on me & were giving me medication. When I asked why they told me the baby's heart rate had dropped into the 90's. I was laying there thinking I was going to have an emergency c-section & hubby wasn't even there. He finally came back & was white as a ghost when he saw what was going on. But the baby's heart rate came back up & things settled down again.

The medication they gave me was terbutaline.  They kept injecting it into my arm subcutaneously.  It was really awful stuff, it made me shake uncontrollably.

I was really in shock I have to admit.  Throughout the pregnancy itself I was worried about my baby.  So much stress & my heart murmur & the fact that I had been told I would never get pregnant.  But having made it to 40 weeks, I had felt confident that all would be well.  I never expected to get that far & then have problems arise.  I mean, I'm a health-nut.  I eat super healthy, I workout more than anyone I know, I'm super strong & had expected to push that baby out in no time flat with no complications.

By 6 am they checked my cervix again & I was only dilated to 4 cm. They started the pitocin then. Hubby & I were both exhausted to say the least. Poor hubby had to sleep (TRY to sleep) sitting up in a chair all night.  I was really worried about my blood pressure & lack or urine. They were giving me antibiotics for the fever & they drew blood cultures. They also said my cervix & baby's head were swelling up. But they kept reminding me that baby was looking good on the monitors.

Several hours went by & I was still only 4 cm. I told my nurse I was willing to agree to c-section if that's what was needed. She went ahead & got all the paperwork ready just in case we did go that route.  I wanted what was best for my baby, I didn't want to refuse a c-section (I really hadn't wanted one) & end up harming my child in the process.  I also was super tired & just wanted to the whole ordeal over with once & for all quite honestly.

Somewhere in the early afternoon baby's heart rate dropped once again. At this point we all agreed a c-section was needed. My doc came in & they were gonna do it, but she said she couldn't get an assistant until 4:30. She said she would be back then. But of course little one didn't want to wait that long...........Around 3 or maybe 3:30 (can't remember exactly) his heart rate dropped yet again. This time they couldn't get it to come back up with the terbutaline. It was time for emergency c-section. They were on the phone to my doc, the NICU team, anesthesiologist, etc. By the time they got me into the OR they could no longer find a heart rate at all. I was terrified. All I could do was pray.


I remember they took hubby away, he had to put on scrubs, etc, & enter a different way than I did on the gurney.  I was laying there on the gurney taking deep breaths & praying for my baby.  I remember they asked me if I could feel sensation & I could so they all waited a moment (though everyone was in a major rush, since they couldn't find the baby's heart rate they were all concerned about his survival) & then she started cutting me open.  BUT I WASN'T NUMB YET STILL!!  My arms are tied down so I can't motion to get anyone's attention.  And I had the oxygen mask on, so it was hard to be heard.  Finally hubby came in & was at my side & I had to explain as quickly as I could to him to tell the doc to stop.  He spoke up & everyone seemed so irritated, as if I was holding them up & inconveniencing them.  I do totally understand that my baby's life was on the line, but I also don't want to feel my doc cutting on me!!
When they finally got him out (& they announced it was a boy!) hubby & I heard the first cry & heaved a sigh of relief together. Hubby got to cut the umbilical cord & go to the nursery with little one. I was sewn up & went to recovery & then to my room & waited there for hubby & little one.  While they were sewing me up I got the best compliment of my life as they were all raving over my ab muscles.  Here I am feeling as big as a house, assuming no one would ever know how fit & active I normally am, how much I workout, etc, yet they could still tell, LOL.  I remember I humbly commented that I normally worked out a lot & they all agreed that there was no arguing that, that they could clearly see that & they all gave me major kudos for that, especially at my age. 

I remember when I got to recovery I was soooo tired (I had been in labor for well over 24 hours, not to mention the stress level of it all adding to the exhaustion) & all I wanted was to shut my eyes & fall asleep & the nurse just kept talking & talking & asking me questions.  I was getting so irritated.  I remember I was still shaking from all the terbutaline they injected me with right before the c-section.  And I remember I did doze off & suddenly the nurse was telling me "I'm going to inject your IV with demerol to take away the shakes" & she did it before I could tell her "No!"  Within seconds I was vomitting from the demerol & then she was injecting me phenergan.  By that point I was able to say "no more drugs please!"  I hate how every drug just adds another problem, another side effect, to the list of problems that are already occurring. 

But praise God our son was ok.  Hubby has pics of when he first came out & his little hands & feet were almost black due to lack of oxygen. It was scary, but he is fine. The swelling & bruising on his head was less & less each day & is now gone.

They let me go home a day early--my doc told me she would let me decide & I really just wanted to get home as soon as possible.

We have been trying to get a routine going with little one & I think we are almost there. The first two nights at home were brutal, but last night went much better. He was taking 2 oz of formula every 3 hours last night. He is really a sweety, everyone says he looks like me. I think he looks a lot like my brother & hubby says from pics he's seen of my dad he thinks he looks like both my brother & my dad.