Beauty

I recently attended a seminar at my church titled "Redefining Beauty". They kept on advertising it & I knew I needed to go. When hubby offered to watch little J so I could go I jumped on the offer.

You see, this is an area I have struggled with my whole life. Since I was a young child I knew I wanted to grow up & have a perfect, beautiful body. I am by nature a perfectionist, so I am sure this only adds to the issue. I remember as a child seeing the Barbizon TV commercials & they would say "train to be a model or just look like one" I knew I didn't want to BE one, but I sure did want to LOOK like one.

I have heard over & over that if you have a daughter you need to be at peace with yourself physically or else you pass those issues on to your daughter. Even if you think you are hiding it from her you really aren't. My entire life I watched my mother (& also older sister) be on an endless stream of fad diets. They were never happy or satisfied with themselves. I am quite sure this did affect me. I can remember my sister telling me to just wait til I was a teenager, that I would be fat & ugly too. This was actually a big fear for me for a lot of years.

I was lucky enough to have a great metabolism & my weight was never much of an issue up until my late 20s. I used to eat & eat & eat all I wanted, whatever I wanted, & I never gained weight. In my late 20s I could still eat more than other people I knew, but I did have to start watching my portions somewhat.

At the age of 19 I started working out & became addicted & have remained that way ever since. But I never started working out in relation to weight or physical appearance. I remember looking at my paternal grandfather. He was the youngest in his family. In his older age all his family & most of his friends had died, he was all alone. I myself am the youngest in my family. It occurred to me that this could end up happening to me also. So I wanted to ensure that I could remain healthy, strong, & independent, into my old age. Even if I don't make it to old age, I want to be healthy & independent for as long as I am here on this earth. That was my motivation for working out.

Of course a few months into my working out I began to notice some drastic changes in my body that I absolutely loved. I also loved the feeling I get after I workout, that rush & extra energy. I ended up totally addicted (& still am) because of all this.

I have never had an eating disorder, thank God. I know a lot of women do in a quest to have a perfect body.

I am sure this desire to perfect & more beautiful than we are doesn't affect ALL women, but I know it affects a lot. I am certainly not alone, even though it's something that people don't like to talk about.

So what did I learn at this seminar? They pointed out that this quest for beauty & improving ourselves has been going on for centuries. They talked about all sorts of old practices--foot binding (to have little dainty feet), putting shards of glass in the eyes (to have sparkly eyes), putting belladonna drops in the eye (to have a doe-eyed look), slathering on makeup that is loaded with lead & other bad ingredients, etc, etc has been going on forever, all with very serious risks. And through all of this women are willing to suffer those risks in the attempt to be more beautiful & perfect.

What amazes me is that I can clearly see this from both sides. I can see how totally insane it was (& still is--plastic surgery & the makeup of today isn't much different). However, being a woman, I can also see it from the perspective of women & how important it is to be perfect & more beautiful.

They talked about how if Barbie was a real person she would be 5'9" & have a BMI of 16.24. She would have a 39" bust, a 18" waist, 33" thighs, & wear a size 3 shoe. Yet this is what little girls play with & see as what they should grow up to look like. Not to mention all the models & actresses we see constantly & everywhere.

In all honesty I can look in the mirror & be totally thrilled with how I look & then see a model in a magazine or an actress on TV & suddenly feel like the ugliest girl in the world & as fat as a cow. I know it sounds insane, but it's true & once again I know I am not alone in this.

The seminar taught us that Satan is the father of lies & has been at the center of doing this to women. Take the thought "I could be beautiful if -----" & fill in the blank & whatever it is is a lie. God has already created us beautiful.

Now that isn't to say to let yourself go completely & not care. We do need to take of ourselves & do the best we can with what we have. It is important to keep in mind that men are visual creatures & we do want to make our husband's happy. (taking care of myself also makes ME happy, but I know this isn't necessarily the case for ALL women)

But the quest for perfection can be pride-inducing & attention-getting. This is not what God wanted. And we should remain modest. When we dress we must ask ourselves if our look says "pure" or "lure" (as in man-bait)? If we dress immodestly & cause a man to sin because of it we will be held accountable for that.

The bottom line is to focus on spiritual beauty more than physical beauty.