Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Ramblings on phobias & other quirks....

I think everyone has quirks, for lack of a better term, no one is ever 100% "normal" per se.  This became very evident to me as I was in nursing school.  During my psych nursing rotation while studying the various phsychological issues that exist you start to relate them to people you know, sometimes even yourself.  You then start to question--am I normal?  Are the people around me that I know & love "normal"?  To be diagnosed as having a phsycological disorder it generally has to have a severity enough to interfere with functioning in daily life.  Although I know there are plenty of people out there that are to that degree that aren't being diagnosed.  And of course there are plenty of people who have these issues to lesser degrees that you could probably debate forever about whether or not they deserve to be diagnosed as having a psychological problem.

As for myself, I have some OCD tendencies.  But if there's no beneficial reason for it I often will force myself to stop doing a particular thing. 

As far as phobias go, I guess I do have a real problem with bugs, especially roaches.  I once had a job that had a real roach problem.  I mean a REAL roach issue, I once went to work & there were (honest to God, I am not exaggerating) hundreds of roaches on their backs on the floor kicking at me, trying to grab on to my shoe to flip themselves over.  I actually had to step outside it freaked me out so badly.  I had to have someone else clean them all up, I couldn't handle it.  Had they been completely dead I probably could've done it, but all that wiggling & trying to escape & the possibility of them touching me was just too creepy for me. 

And I guess I do have another phobia, although it's sort of a strange one.  I have a real problem with bathtubs.  I cannot take a bath.  The issue is with germs in the tub.  And I don't care if I clean the tub first, cuz there's certainly still gonna be some germs there.  I can remember being creeped out about it as a child, cuz my mom always made me take a bath instead of a shower.  I would deal with it in the same way I deal with OCDisms that just don't make sense or there's no good reason.  I just sort of talk myself out of it. 

Although I must admit that even when I take a shower I try really hard to not touch the walls or anything else in there while I'm in there. 

It is funny to me that I don't have issues with jacuzzis & pools.  I mean the thought does cross my mind.  And I do desperately wish we could have our own jacuzzi &/or pool so we don't have to be exposed to all the germs in the community ones that we use.  But again, I talk myself out of freaking out & deal with it.  I think I just enjoy being in the water sooo much that I can't allow myself to freak out about it.  I couldn't possibly live without jacuzzis & pools.

But I suppose if somehow a shower was no longer possible & a bath was my only option (I honestly don't know how that would/could happen) I would just deal with it in the same manner & just take the bath. 

This is actually a topic I don't think much about.  But then last week I was reading somewhere (can't remember where, probably in a magazine, but maybe online) where a mother finally had a few hours to herself at home (I think her husband took the kids somewhere) & she was so excited.  She was going to take a super relaxing bubble bath.  And as I was reading it I could totally relate & was dreaming that I had the same opportunity, but I was then interrupted by thoughts of the germs in the bathtub.  Anyways, she had lit candles, had relaxing music playing, the whole nine yards.  And she happened to have a whirlpool tub.  She said she hadn't taken a BATH in over 2 years (any mother of young'ens knows exactly how that goes!).  So she got in & was sooo enjoying herself & then she turns on the whirlpool jets........which haven't been used in over 2 years.........and suddenly her bath tub is filled with greenery.  At that I had to stop reading, it was killing me, especially ME, with my phobia of germy bathtubs & all......UUUUGGGGHHHHH, why did "I" have to stumble across this article??? 

And since the day I read that last week I have not been able to get it out of my mind, especially the visual that accompanies it.  And so I felt that rambling about this topic might be therapeutic & help me to let go of what I read................that's all, I'm done rambling for now...........

1 comment:

Sondra said...

This topic totally fascinates me, as I do have some family members with mental illness. Add to that all my crazy ideas and notions that have people up in arms, I can't help but wonder sometimes! LOL!