30 month updates on Lil J

Today, October 20th, 2011, my stepdaughter turns 24! And my toddler turns 2 1/2. People are always astonished when they learn we have an adult, a teen, & a toddler hehehe.

So Lil J is now 33.2 lbs (75-90%), 36" tall (25-50%), & has a head circumference of 21" (>95%)

Despite the tantrums & "terrible two" phase, this is really a FUN stage we are in.  He is such a sweet boy.  He is always so desperate to help me with whatever I am doing.  Just this morning I went grocery shopping.  After we get home I bring in the bags of groceries & leave them at the entrance of the house.  Then, after all the bags are in the house, I move the bags to the kitchen so I can wipe everything down & put it away.  After carrying the first trip of bags to the kitchen I turned around to find Lil J struggling hard (but not giving up) to carry a bag over for me.  His little face was so precious.  I could see how much it meant to him to be able to help mommy.  Of course I pour on the praise & let him continue one bag at a time, no matter how long it takes him.  He was BEAMING when he finished with the last bag.  My heart literally melted.

And he's finally in a stage where we can have a conversation.  And he's learning sooooo fast now.  He has new words & phrases constantly, I can't even keep up.  And he WANTS to learn.  He often points to things & asks me what it is so he can learn & know what to call it.  He is such a smart & sweet boy.

Most days he no longer takes naps.  Occasionally he still does though.  And on the days he doesn't he sometimes go to bed for the night early  sometimes he stays up to the same time as if he did nap.  It's taking a little adjusting to get used to it all, for me I mean.  I'm just trying hard to be flexible.  And some days if I feel I need a break or if I feel HE needs a break I put him in the bedroom for "quiet time".  And I stress to him that he doesn't HAVE to go to sleep, but he does HAVE to be QUIET.  That is my only requirement.  And some days he will fall asleep & some days he will just play quietly. 

Part of me misses the nap, mostly because of the time it gave me to be able to focus on things & really get stuff done.  But part of me is looking forward to a nap-free schedule.  I mean, for the past 2 1/2 years there's been huge slots of my time where I can't leave the house &/or make appointments, etc.  So in that sense it will make life easier to end the napping, & as long as he continues to be agreeable with quiet time, allowing me to get things done that require a lot of concentration, then it's all good.

I think that's all the updates I have for now.

Potty Training, continued

So this last Saturday I finally made the decision to use pull-ups.  I know there's a huge debate out there about this & I know that the "3 day method" that I followed is totally & completely anti-pull-up.

It was a tough decision.  I have always had a hard time giving up on things.  I can see hope of a change right around the corner & I'm hanging on for it.  And yet I'm getting more & more stressed out waiting & waiting & waiting for that change to come.  This pattern holds true for a lot of things in my life, not just potty training.

The glimmer of hope for me is the fact that he can stay dry overnight & during naps.  And there are some days with absolute perfection all day long.  But then there are randomly days where he pees all over himself & there are lots of times where there's just a small wet spot on his undies & it usually goes through to his shorts or pants.  And so even though it wasn't a full blown peed on himself, I still have to change his undies & pants/shorts.  And it still creates more work, more stress, not to mention more laundry.  Since I began potty training I have had a minimum of 1 load of laundry every single day from his "accidents".  So yeah you can say that pull-ups are costly, but so is laundry.  Laundry requires water, gas, & electricity!  Nothing cheap about it.

Even though I feel like I waited too long to make the pull-up decision, I do think if I had done it too soon he wouldn't have been as successful as he has been.  He wouldn't have been as aware of his accidents.  I still put him in undies & no pull-up at bedtime & he still wakes up dry in the mornings.

So even though that was a seriously stressful 6 weeks of my life or so, I do think it was a good investment.  And as he matures & is ready we will be able to ditch the pull-ups.  I was really worried about him going backwards if I switched to pull-ups.  And I know it's only been a few days, but so far he hasn't gone backwards at all.  But I feel like all the stress of it is gone now.  I don't have to worry about him flooding the carpet, couch, his clothes, etc.  I have taught him the basics & will now let him proceed at his own pace.  He is still telling me when he needs to go, for both poop & pee.  And he is telling me at home, out shopping, etc.  The only wet pull-up I've seen so far was at church on Sunday.  And I don't understand why we have issues at church, but we have all along & so it continues.  I'm not gonna stress out about it anymore.  At some point it will stop.

And so that's a huge load of stress off of me now, thank you Jesus.  I can just sit back & wait for him to progress to perfection on his own.  And now I can focus more on teaching him to pull his undies & shorts/pants up & down by himself.  :)

The "terrible twos"

Everyone has at least heard of the dreaded "terrible twos".  Whether you have kids or not you've certainly heard of it.  And there are always a few people who insist it wasn't so bad for them with their kids.  And that always give you hope that it's not gonna be so bad.  But then you hear the horror stories from others & you worry it's gonna happen to you.  But you hope it won't.  And of course part of me feels like if I just don't talk about it I can remain in denial & pretend it's not so bad really.  But it is bad.  At least for me, with Lil J, it is bad.  A friend asked me how the tantrums were going so I decided to just write a blog about the topic.

Next month Lil J will be 2 1/2, on my stepdaughter's 24th birthday actually.  I keep hearing people who say it only gets worse when they turn 3, that then I'll be begging for the "terrible twos" to return, but we'll see about that.

So there have been times in the past when Lil J has had disasters.  There were times when he played in the dirt in a planter in the house & there was dirt all over the whole dining room & living room.  There was a time when I was organizing the kitchen pantry cabinet & he stole a box of cornstarch without me noticing & he was having a blast spreading it all over the living room without me realizing. 

But a couple of weeks ago when I came in from the garage, from working out, (the door to our garage is actually in our master bathroom, weird set up, I know, but that's how I busted him so quickly) & he had the bowl from his potty chair & was scooping water out of the toilet with it & pouring the water all over the floor.  And when he had scooped out all the water, he had flushed the toilet & left the flush knob turned to keep it flushing, so he had a never-ending supply of water to scoop.  Luckily he hadn't been at it TOO LONG, just a big puddle right where he was standing.  I could see by his face that he had no idea what he was doing was bad.  And so I didn't freak out, I just made sure to tell him to never do that again, that it wasn't ok to do that.  And he helped me clean it all up. 

Lately when it's nap time I just tell him it's "quiet time" & he plays quietly in his bed (which is in the master bedroom) & then he goes to sleep.  I know that at some point he's going to give up his nap, so I'm hoping to be able to keep the "quiet time" going so I can have a break myself.  So a few days after that toilet fiasco it was time for quiet time.  So I put him in the room & told him it was "quiet time".  I heard him playing for a little while & then it was quiet, so I assumed he had fallen asleep.  Quite some time later I had walked to the entrance area of the house (which is right next to the master bedroom & bath) & I heard water running.  So I went in & found him flooding the bathroom in the exact same manner.  This time he had continued doing it for quite some time before I caught him & there were INCHES of water on the entire bathroom floor.  The carpet in the master bedroom was SOAKED & water was literally pouring out the door that leads to the garage.  I honestly couldn't believe my eyes.  And this time I could clearly see on his face that he knew it was wrong.  This time I did spank him.  It was such a nightmare cleaning it all up.  It took me a really long time & it still took several days to get the carpet in the bedroom dry.

So you would think he learned his lesson that time.  But no.  A few days later hubby put him down for bedtime.  About 20 minutes later I was going to go give him a kiss good night.  As I opened the bedroom door I saw that the bathroom light was on.  I asked hubby if he had left it on (Lil J never needs a night light, we never leave lights on for him) & he said no.  It was then that I heard water running.  I told hubby & this time he got to bust him pulling the exact same stunt.  Luckily we caught him really early so there wasn't much water to clean up.  Hubby spanked him as well. 

And the very next day I went out & bought a toilet lock.  Hopefully we've put an end to that.

So then yesterday I put him down for "quiet time" & I noticed he was awake for a really long time.  I had a lot to do & was busy, just listening over the baby monitor.  About 2 hours later it got quiet, so I had assumed he finally fell asleep.  At the time I was putting him down he kept yelling "potty, potty" & wanting to sit on the potty chair (this is becoming a trend, a trend that I need to put an end to).  So in my impatience I just took his shorts & undies off & left him to potty on his own & put himself in bed when he was done.  So it was quiet for about 20 minutes & then I heard something.  So I went to check on him & he had pooped in his potty chair & then proceeded to play with it.  He was literally head to toe covered in poop & had smeared it EVERYWHERE.  I had to take a deep breath & then throw him in the bath tub & while he soaked in the tub I worked hard at cleaning up.  It was a horrendous sight to see & a horrendous job to clean up.  Unlike any other mess, there's the fact that feces contains lots of bacteria.  So a simple wipe down isn't gonna cut it.  I had to also disinfect every surface as well.  Just trust me that whatever image you conjure in your mind while reading this, it was worse.  That's all I can say, I can guarantee it was worse than you can imagine.  I told my hubby I would've taken pictures, but I know my hubby would never use the bathroom again, LOL.  So I definitely cannot leave him bottomless at quiet time & I need to work on putting a stop to the "potty, potty!!" screaming deal that he's starting lately.

And of course there's the temper tantrums.  I had read that a lack of magnesium can lead to behavioral issues, including temper tantrums.  Upon searching for a good source of mg I found chlorophyll listed.  Since it's a liquid it's easy to give & I already had some in the house, so I've been giving him that once in a while, in his milk (be warned that it WILL STAIN if you want to try it).  It seemed like it was helping at first, but it doesn't seem to be anymore.  :(

I still do "time outs" when he's in a bad attitude & being disobedient.  I've always done them in the play pen & the first one is 15 minutes & each additional one throughout the day gets another 5 minutes tacked on.  He used to spend the first couple of minutes screaming & crying & then he'd calm down (however, if I took him out early he would just return to the bad attitude almost immediately).  But now he's kicking & screaming for a long time in there, sometimes trying to climb out.  I simply add more time to his time out when he does this, but it's becoming a regular thing.  The time out is still effective though, just takes a little longer now.  I know for some kids it doesn't work at all, but it has always worked well for adjusting Lil J's attitude.  When he comes out I still sit down & have a talk with him making sure he understands WHY he got the time out & I am now teaching him to apologize for his behavior.

As I said before, his latest thing is to scream "potty, potty!!!" & want to sit on the potty, usually when he's being forced to do something he doesn't want to do--time out, quiet time/nap time, bed time, etc.  So I'm working hard at breaking this.  This is a tough one cuz I worry that he might legitimately have to go potty & I don't want to just ignore him & have him wet himself.  BUT I am starting to recognize the pattern of how he yells it when he's faking it.  And I just tell him he doesn't REALLY have to go & he has to do (fill in the blank) right now. 

The "terrible twos" is a tough topic to write about.  Even when you read it it doesn't fully convey how hard the situation really is, day in & day out.  But yes, we are in full swing with the "terrible twos" & I am waiting to see how much worse it's gonna get for the rest of the twos as well as the upcoming threes next spring. 

Post Partum Body Image & other ramblings Part 2

I wrote a blog with this same title a while back.  I have been concerned with health & fitness since I was very young.

To me health & fitness go hand in hand.  I find it odd that some people can eat healthy & yet not care about physical fitness.  And then there are people who care about physical fitness yet live on junk food.  I've never understood it, they totally go together in my mind.

And so when I speak of postpartum body image it's not so much about the physical (vain) aspect of it.  It's a matter of getting my muscles strong & fit once again, after having been so stretched out during the pregnancy.  This is mostly true of my "core" muscles as they refer to them in pilates.  Basically it's the whole torso area.

While I was pregnant I was concerned about getting back in shape after having the baby.  This was mostly due to my age, being pregnant in my late 30's.  Body's aren't as forgiving & don't snap back as easily & quickly as you get older.  During my pregnancy I mapped out my post partum fitness plan & I stuck to it well.  It has evolved as time has passed, obviously.  Of course you start out gradually & work your way back to where you were before you were pregnant.  But I recall "hoping" I'd have my body completely back in shape by the time he turned 1, but just in case I was allowing myself until he turned 2.  This was just a mental note to myself, as I didn't want to be crushed if I couldn't get my body back in shape in one year.

I did gain A LOT of weight while pregnant (47 lbs to be exact) & I did lose most of it quickly.  Within a couple of weeks most everyone was telling me it looked like I had never been pregnant at all.  But of course from my perspective my body was not the same & it certainly wasn't as strong or as fit.  And by the time he turned 1 it still wasn't.  I was a bit sad, but figured I'd give myself another year.  And so that year passed & he turned 2.  And while I was definitely more fit than I was when he turned 1, I still didn't feel as fit or as strong as I had before being pregnant.

Next month he will be 2 1/2 & I am just now really feeling back to my old self.  I feel very fit & strong & I've lost some more weight (still at least 7 lbs heavier than I was before getting pregnant at best).  I am very happy to report that I feel like I finally got my body back.  :)

The only exception is with pilates.  Prior to getting pregnant I was at the level of a professional pilates instructor.  I LOOOVED pilates & was perfect at doing it.  I loved the challenge of the difficult moves & building up the strength to be able to do them slow & controlled like the instructors.  I continued to do "pregnancy pilates" through my first 2 trimesters of pregnancy (I also did pre-natal yoga & spinning).  But after he was born I kept trying & just absolutely couldn't do pilates.  I just couldn't engage the muscles properly.  I kept trying & would give up, & would promise myself to try again later.  And I would, but it would always be the same.

So a month or two ago I decided to keep at it on a regular basis.  I've been doing it about once a week for maybe 6 weeks now.  I would really like to do it more than once a week to be able to reach my goal with it sooner, but I just don't have the time.  I also do weight lifting/strength training & running, & I don't want to skip either those.  I have ALWAYS tried to focus on a balanced fitness plan of 4 components (strength, cardio, pilates, & stretch).  I am still trying to fit in more stretch time, so I certainly can't dedicate more time to pilates.

Since I had a c-section that means that my abdominal muscles were actually cut.  And I already know that a cut muscle will NEVER regain the strength it had prior to being cut.  So I am extremely doubtful that I will ever reach the same level I was at with pilates prior to pregnancy, but I do think I can do better than I am currently at.

When I was 12 I had surgery on my chest/rib cage to repair a ribcage deformity I was born with.  They cut my chest muscles when they did that surgery.  And prior to that surgery I had very good chest strength.  I could do a million pushups, etc.  Ever since, no matter how hard I work, I have not been able to come even close at regaining my chest muscle strength.  And so, because of that experience, I know that my abdominal strength is going to be a real challenge for me.

Quite some time ago I had actually gone through my closet & thrown out a lot of clothes (mostly tops) that just didn't work now that I had a baby.  Most of them were too short & I didn't want to be showing my "mommy tummy" off.  So my closet has been pretty empty all this time.  There was also a small section of tops that were tight &/or clingy & they really showed my "mommy tummy" but I put them aside in the closet, in their own little section as it were, to be tried on again at a later time when I had lost more weight.  And that time has come & I tried them on & only had to toss one of them.  There was one that was just a tad too short, but made me uncomfortable.  All the clingy ones now worked for me.  And my stepdaughter recently put out of a bag of give-away clothes that I chose to go "shopping" in (she says she doesn't mind & I am not too prideful to do that) & so now my closet is looking much fuller. :)

But overall I am very pleased that my body is totally feeling back to normal & strong these days.

29 Month Updates on Lil J

I really should've posted a 28 month update blog.  There was plenty going on with the potty training.  But because there was plenty going on I was REALLY busy.  I kept meaning to write the blog ahead of time & then simply publish on the 20th, but never found the time.  And then on the 20th was my hubby's 30th high school reunion, so of course we were super busy that day.  And so it never got done.  My apologies.

So Lil J is now 30.2 lbs (50-75%), 36.5" tall (50-75%), & has a head circumference of 21" (>95%).

I started potty training on 8/9/11 using the 3 day potty training method.  I have posted 2 blogs specifically on that issue, so I won't say a whole lot about it here.  I am planning to do another blog on the topic soon & will probably post another one again later on down the road.  It's now been over a month since starting & definitely the majority of the time is perfection.  And almost all naps & overnight time he remains dry.  But we're still having issues while he's at church, not sure exactly why.  But I do feel like those issues are causing some going backwards here at home as well.  I'm doing my best to crack down & reduce accidents overall. 

All his fall clothing is purchased & ready to go.  He has already worn his new pants a few times now.  We are now entering the phase where it's cold early in the morning & at night, but it's still pretty warm (up to 90) during the middle of the day.  Tonight I am planning to pull out the footed PJs once again.  He's just been in soft pants & socks with a tshirt for summer sleeping. 

He is extremely active, cannot sit still or be quiet EVER.  He's even moving in his sleep LOL.  He LOVES to be outdoors.  During the summer months when it was SUPER HOT & he HAD to be outside I pulled out the little wading pool we got him & put him in swim trunks & that kept him cool while out there.  Now I'm trying to figure out how to keep him warm & dry during the winter months.  I think I definitely need to invest in some rain boots for him. 

He is definitely a little boy now & not a baby anymore.  He often shows me things, wanting to know what it's called.  I tell him & then he practices the word a few times.  And he has a great memory, which often amazes me.  I often just sit & look at him & am amazed at how big he's gotten & how much he comprehends. 

That's all the updates I have for now......until next time.

Mastering the art of shopping (for a toddler, that is)

I've never had, nor have I needed much of a "system" for buying clothes for myself.  I'm finished growing (& do very well at maintaining my weight), so I don't really have to replace clothes very often.  Yes, I'm a girl, & I do enjoy picking out new clothes from time to time.  I usually make sure they are super cheap so I can get as much clothing for my buck as possible.  There are a few items I am willing to spend some money on--shoes (not all shoes, though, just for work & working out), bras (I am a hard size to find so I am actually forced to buy pricey bras due to that, but I also think it's worthwhile to invest to good quality bras that give good support), & some few "classic" pieces that won't go out of style for a long time (like coats, blazers, that sort of thing).

I guess I do have a little bit of a system going on because I do laundry once a week, so I do try to make sure I have enough to get through a week & a little extra so that I'm not wearing the exact same clothes every week.  But that's about the extint of my "system" when it comes to buying clothes.

When I was pregnant I was kinda worried about clothing for the baby.  How much would I need?  What types of clothes would I need?  How much was it gonna cost me??  How fast would the baby outgrow the clothes?  That sort of stuff.

In the early days after the baby was born I was surviving solely on what little clothing I had received at my baby shower.  I had a 5 pack of onesies, a couple of drawstring gowns & a "sleep sack".  Of course in the early days there were lots of "accidents"--whether it be leaky diaper or spit up, so there was lots of laundry going on.  As time went on there were less accidents.  And as I learned my kid was gonna spit A LOT I decided to invest in tons of bibs, realizing it was so much easier to swap out a bib than a onesie.

For the first month or two I relied on those 5 packs of onesies that they sell at Wal-Mart, Target, Babies R Us stores.  Then one day my stepdaughter went to the Carter's store & came home with some really cute outfits.  She said she wanted to see her little brother in some cuter clothes & she also mentioned how cheap the clothes were.  That was it, after that I headed to Carter's & quickly developed a system.

Each time I headed to Carter's I would go straight to the back of the store.  The clearance rack was all the way in the back & prices went up gradually as you progressed to the front of the store.  I always got amazing deals & really loved the store.  I always preferred bodysuits (aka onesies) over shirts & bottoms when he was little because the shirts were always riding up.  I usually paired the onesies with shorts or pants.  That was another nice feature at Carter's.  Most everything was in blue or brown.  Occasionally red or grey.  And it was so easy to coordinate pieces together with their color scheme.

But then the day came when Lil J progressed to toddler clothes.  Carter's does sell some toddler clothes, but not much & I never really liked what they had, especially the prices.  It was much harder to get good deals on the toddler clothes.  Last year for the fall/winter clothes I was a little frantic trying to find a new store.  I tried Kohls, WalMart, & Target.  Target & WalMart seem to have the best deals, but the variety they offer seems to vary a great deal from one location to the next.

Last year I quickly bought up cheap long sleeved shirts.  Later on I found cheap pants & bought those.  And then I found myself trying to match them together.  It was a little tough.  And then he outgrew his jacket before the cold weather had ended (or at least windy weather, it's frequently windy where we live so I like to always have a jacket with a hood available for him).  But by that time they were selling summer clothes, no jackets could be found.  We did manage to find a windbreaker on the clearance rack in his size, but I made a mental note to make sure to not let that happen again. I also realized that the clothes that fit him well at the start of the season were the ones he grew out of before the season ended & the ones that were big on him at the start of the season lasted through the whole season.  And so I made a mental note to make sure he starts the seasons with big clothes.  Because when he outgrows them it's the same scenario as with the jacket he outgrew, it's hard to find replacements as they're then selling clothes for a different season.

Then came summer clothes.  I was happy to discover that most of his shorts still fit.  And it's always easy to find cheap shorts, which is nice.  And it's pretty easy to find cheap shirts as well.  Overall summer clothes were very cheap & easy.

This time around I am now finished buying the fall/winter clothes.  But I feel like I've got a system down now, I feel liked I learned a lot & improved on my past mistakes this time around.  I am feeling very accomplished & proud of myself.  This time around I started with pants rather than shirts.  I actually did this because I want the cheap pants & they can be hard to find & they tend to sell out fast.  I bought a size larger than he's currently wearing.  I can roll them up if I have to, but I am confident they will last the whole season.  After buying 8 pairs of $5 pants & 2 pairs of $6 jeans I then moved on to shirts.  Since I already knew what color pants I had to work with I was able to easily pick out shirts to match them.  (In the past I had bought the shirts first & then the cheap pants are very limited & it's harder to match the cheap pants to the shirts)  I also made sure to get a jacket one size larger than what we currently have for him, just in case he grows out of it.  And I also got a couple of pairs of $3 sweat pants, they just looked really comfy & cozy & were really cheap & I still had a little money left over to buy them.  And then recently hubby came home with a new pair of fall shoes for Lil J.  He said he got a super deal on them.  They are timberlands & will match very nicely with all the clothes I got.

The only thing left that I want to try to find is a pair of galoshes or rain boots.  He is such an outdoor kid that I don't think there's gonna be any way to keep him inside during the rainy season so I think I'll make sure he has a pair of rain boots & let him go out, so long as it's not pouring, which it rarely does.

Lil J has a long torso (just like his mommy & daddy) & so he has always been one size larger in shirts than pants & he still is.  He is currently in 3T shirts & 2T shorts (although some of his 18 month & 24 month shorts do still fit just fine & are still in his wardrobe).  So for the fall I bought 4T shirts & 3T pants.  So next spring I'm guessing I'll have to buy 5T shirts & 4T pants, unless his growth slows considerably.  He is currently wearing size 9 shoes, so the fall shoes hubby got are size 10.

I am so very happy that the shopping is done (with the exception of the rain boots) & that I now have a system down.  I will be sticking with this system of starting with the pants first from now on I think.  There will be a slight hiccup in the system because when he first goes into pants (from shorts) he will still be in the current short sleeved shirts.  But I did go through them & most do match up with the pants I bought.  It just won't be quite as perfect as when the weather gets cold & he moves into the long sleeved shirts with his pants.

Details on the 3 Day Potty Training Method

I chose to use the 3 day potty training method, as I explained in a previous blog. It's not an easy method, very time consuming & intensive & tough, but it is supposed to shorten the time it takes to get a toddler used to potty training. I know quite a few people who spend months, & some even years, on potty training.

After reading the e-book I could see that it was clearly an "all or nothing" method. Either follow it to a tee or don't bother. And so I decided to give it a try & to follow it to a tee.  I know several people who have used this method with great success.  And I've seen on facebook that many of their friends have also used it with great success.  In all the discussing on FB I only saw one person (a friend of a friend) who said it didn't work out.  But she even said it wasn't a bad method, only that her child wasn't ready yet & she would try again later on.  I was curious as to how old her child was, but she didn't mention it.  On the second day of this method I was starting to feel a little discouraged so I started googling the method to see what opinions there were out there on it.  I found a blog (well 2 blog posts dedicated to this topic on the same blog) where a mother gave it a try along with her hubby, but she deviated a lot from the method (diapering at night & some other things) & at the end of the 3 days she said she was a bit disappointed in the results, but that it was a start at least.  Once again, I am very happy that I refused to deviate from the plan. 

I must say it would be much easier if you could have a second person stay with you those 3 days & also know the whole plan & be able to participate in the training method. That was not possible for me. And of course you need to eliminate as much as possible from your own schedule. (if you have other children the book says to either send them to stay with a relative for the 3 days or have someone come stay with you & have that person just take care of the other children, while your entire focus will be on the toddler that's being potty trained), cooking & any other activities will be very tough to accomplish.  Anything you do, you need to be able to drop at any given moment & be prepared to have it on hold for as long as it takes in the bathroom, which can sometimes be VERY long, especially in the early part of the training.

On Monday: I ran some errands to make sure we didn't run out of any groceries during the 3 days (& even a couple of days beyond just in case) since I knew I couldn't leave the house while doing this.  On Monday night I made a pretty big dinner & warned my hubby & stepson that they would be eating those leftovers for a few days. (I made a Mexican chicken & served it as tacos, but told them it could easily be turned into burritos or salad, etc)  I had expected that cooking would be impossible to do during this & I was correct.


Tuesday, Day 1: I got up early, wanted to shower BEFORE Lil J even woke up. I was able to do so & planned to do so for the next few days (how on earth could I leave him unattended while I shower while potty training?? Surely he'd be peeing all over the house!!) Then I got him up, bathed him, put him in undies & proceeded to breakfast. Well, he did protest the undies a bit, but I put a pair on Osito as well & he seemed to get over it pretty quickly. I told him a million times to tell me when he needed to go potty. The first day was REALLY tough I have to say. Obviously Lil J has no idea what's going on. His entire life he's worn diapers & just peed & pooped freely without any thought at all. So of course he was peeing like every 2 minutes, which I'm sure is exactly what he was doing in his diapers. We had a ton of accidents, where he would tell me "potty" right as he started to pee. I would rush him to the potty & sit him on the potty & then clean him up & put on new undies (and then go clean up the mess he had made). The biggest problem I had on day 1 & most of day 2 was that he did NOT want to sit on the potty at all. I would sit him on it, but he would jump up immediately. The book said to not force him to sit on the potty, so I didn't. I just kept praising him & telling him the goal is to keep his undies dry. I was very happy that he understood to tell me "potty" each time, that part he had down from the get-go. He pooped standing up in the bathroom, right next to the potty. During his nap he peed all over the bed.  At bedtime my hubby asked me "overnight diaper, right?" And I told him "no!" He looked at me increduously. I know he thought I had lost my mind. Now I must explain that Lil J pees A LOT. Most days he floods his diaper & leaks all over the bed during his 2 hour nap. And at night he wears the huggies overnight diapers & frequently floods those as well. [I must also say that as a kid I was a bed-wetter & it was horrible. My sister & I were both bed-wetters for A LOT of years, although my brother wasn't at all. I find this odd because everything says that boys are far more likely to be bed-wetters than girls are. But I have been preparing myself for the possibility of Lil J being a bed-wetter. I had planned to keep him in pull ups or to wake him up during the night to take him to the potty as needed in order to keep him from waking up in a wet bed, like I did for so many years. The uncomfortableness of it & the embarrassment of it was horrible. I remember always wanting to go to camps or sleepovers & being too afraid that everyone would know I was a bed-wetter. We used to go camping a lot in our motorhome when I was a kid & every morning my mom would strip my bunk & wash the sheets & hang them on the back of the motorhome to dry & I would be soooo embarrassed, convinced the whole campground knew I was a bed-wetter. It was bad enough to me that my own family members knew, much less the rest of the world. Anyways, all that to say that I do not want my son to have to wake up in a wet & cold bed, & I have already been planning to find ways to avoid that & hubby is very aware of that. BUT I decided to follow this plan for the 3 days & after that I was planning to put him back into a diaper at night--& possibly nap time.]  So hubby & I were sure he would be swimming by morning. We were both totally blown away the next morning when we found him totally & completely DRY!! (of course we had both gotten up a couple of times during the night to check on him & were already amazed to find him totally dry)

Wednesday, Day 2: I was hoping for more improvement than what actually occurred this day. I was starting to feel a little a little discouraged, but hubby kept telling me he was AMAZED at how well Lil J was doing. He kept reminding me that since he was able to stay dry all night he was totally physically ready to do this. (Initially hubby had thought he was too young to be potty trained, & I honestly had no clue, but we both agreed that worst case scenario we just start over again at a later time.) We had a lot of accidents this day, still struggling a lot with the fact that he didn't want to sit on the potty. I tried offering him the big adult potty, with his smaller seat on it & his current potty chair as a stepstool to the big potty (that's how his potty chair is designed), he tried it, but he didn't like that either. During his nap he again peed in the bed, although it was less than on day 1. He once again pooped standing up, right next to the potty chair. My greatest moment of this day was at the end of the day when hubby got home & hubby was able to get him over his fear of the potty chair.  (My hubby to my rescue!  :) )  And again, he stayed dry the whole night.

Thursday, Day 3: His first words upon waking this day were "potty". It took a little while, but he did finally go. He's still learning to control his body functions it seems, starting & stopping his stream. From there on out we were on a bad streak. He kept forgetting to tell me until the last second, or not staying on the potty chair & then peeing on the floor. He had  really hard time starting his stream while sitting on the potty.  He wanted to stand up in order to start & of course pee on the floor, & then sit back down to finish.  I was really starting to feel discouraged......and then suddenly I found hope. When he FINALLY peed in the potty while sitting, with no peeing on the floor, he grabbed my hand & led me to the toilet. He pointed at the toilet & said "bye bye!" & waved. I suddenly understood what he was asking for. I dumped his pee into the toilet & flushed & made a big deal about it, waving good bye. He was LOVING this!! After that we had several totally successful pees on the potty with no accidents whatsoever. He was totally excited to say good bye to his pee & watch it flush away. I have a few sticker books & initially when he was able to pee without wetting his undies I would let him pick a sticker as a reward. I ended up expanding that to just peeing in the potty, even if he did wet his undies during the process. He was pretty excited about the sticker, but not enough to make him really WANT to pee in the potty. The excitement of the flushing was just what we needed. Part of this program is that you keep the toddler in nothing but a tshirt & undies. Of course at night I put a pair of pants on him & socks, to make sure he didn't get cold. So I started to wonder if the pants were somehow helping him to stay dry overnight, so on this day I put pants on him for his naptime.   And it totally worked.  He stayed dry for his nap & continued to pee perfectly on the potty with no accidents the rest of the day. 

Friday: So we're finished.  I am sure there will still be occasional accidents.  But overall I am thrilled.  He still pooped standing up this morning, but since most people say potty training for poop is very hard & that their kids just poop in their pants I am thrilled.  It's just one small step away from him sitting down on the potty to poop.  I did deviate from this plan in one way--on day one you're supposed to pull out & throw away all the diapers with your child.  I went into this not convinced that it would be a success, so I skipped that part.  This morning I removed the diapers from the diaper bag & changing table & bagged them & put them in the garage.  I still won't get rid of them completely for at least a little while, just to make sure.  And when I do get rid of them I will give them to someone who needs them, not throw them away.  From now on the "diaper" bag will have extra changes of undies & bottoms & wipes (& still snacks of course!). 

I must say I am nervous about going out in public.  What if he has to go while I'm driving?  What if he has to go while we're grocery shopping?  At someone's house?  I remember feeling a lot like this in the very early days when he constantly needed a bottle.  It was so hard to go anywhere other than home & yet I had so many errands that needed to get done.  I always felt so nervous back then. 

One more comment I'd like to make: I've seen & heard a lot of people who say to keep no undies or diapers on a child while potty training, just leave them in bare bottoms.  This particular method requires undies & a tshirt & nothing else.  And I personally think this is the best idea.  I have to admit there were 2 or 3 times that I missed Lil J peeing early on & if not for the wet undies I would've missed that teaching opportunity & never have known that he had peed.  And of course if you have more than just undies it becomes really hard to visibly see when they are actually peeing right away.

And one final comment: I recall, in the past, overhearing a coworker saying that a 3 or 4 year old that isn't potty trained has a lazy mother.  While I don't necessarily think that will always hold true I can see why she made that statement.  Despite how annoying diapers can be, they are actually easier, for the parent at least. 

I think that's all I have to say for now...........

Adventures in potty training

I've known for quite some time now that at some point I was going to have to deal with potty training. It was one of those things where just the thought of it would invoke fear in me.

I guess I was fearful because I didn't have a plan of action, a game plan, so to speak. I'm the type of person that always has a structured plan for things unknown. I do my research & establish a plan. Of course I'm usually flexible if the plan doesn't pan out as expected, but at least it's a starting point for me.  But I honestly didn't have a plan for such a thing as this.  And most people say that boys are much harder than girls, although I've seen plenty of people say that their boys were much easier than their girls, so I firmly believe that it depends on the child, not the sex of the child.

To further complicate matters I would see people talking about potty training & which method they preferred. But on the flipside my hubby kept insisting I didn't need to follow any "method", just let it happen when it happens was his motto. I kept trying to go with my hubby's game plan, but it made me very nervous I must admit.

At Lil J's last checkup at the doctor she asked me if I had started potty training & I told her no, & that I hadn't seen any signs of readiness yet.  She told me to be prepared to start soon, at least within the next 6 months (& this was 4 months ago!!!).  She shared with me her adventures of potty training her twin daughters.

In the past few months I have seen A LOT of people mentioning potty training on facebook. And they all were following a specific method. A lot of them have children close in age to my Lil J, so that was making me even more nervous.

I remember the first one I saw, they said Dr. Phil's method was amazing. I googled it, but really didn't like the sound of it. It said you needed to get a doll that pees & have your child potty train the doll. I suppose if I had a daughter I might give it a try, but since I have a son I didn't want to waste my money buying a doll.  I also just couldn't imagine this working with my son, based on his personality I mean.  

Shortly after that I saw a whole bunch of people on facebook (mostly friends through MOPS) were potty training using the 3 day method. I was watching all the posts closely, intently.  I kept reminding myself that there is no real rush, I don't have daycare or anything else that has a deadline for potty training like some parents do.  I finally started asking questions about this method & one of my friends sent me the e-book that explains the whole method.

It's a 40 page e-book & I read it in about an hour.  I was intrigued to say the least.  It recommended doing it at 22 months of age & stated that some children (though not most) can do it even earlier than that.  What REALLY caught me my attention was the fact that it said it was MUCH harder to do if you wait until 30 months or later.  Lil J is almost 28 months already.  And I needed 3 full days of not leaving the house to do this.  So I had to do this while my stepson is out of school (so I'm not needing to leave the house to pick him up).  I had actually planned to do this LAST week, but then Lil J was sick (with the roseola virus), so I decided to postpone it a week until he was all better.

The one thing that I do really like about this method is that it seems that you can get the potty training down much more quickly.  I have known many, many people who are in the potty training process for YEARS. 






And so, as you can see in the photo, the 3 day potty training method is a go in my house.  (I even put undies on Osito in addition to Lil J!!)  I am currently on day 2.  It's definitely intense & challenging & demanding of your time & attention.  For people who can't dedicate a full 3 days of undivided attention to their child it's not a good choice.  It's pretty much an all or nothing deal.  You either follow it to a tee or don't bother.

I will, at some point, after completing all 3 days, either edit in the daily details here or (most likely) just publish a whole new blog with those details.  Right now Lil J is napping & I don't want to spend the whole time here on the computer, plus it's not finished yet, only half way there.

Vegan Ramblings

Almost a year ago I decided to return to my vegetarian ways for a multitude of reasons.  I had been a vegetarian from age 15-25, for 10 years.  People always ask me if it's hard to give up meat, but for me it's not, although it seems that that is not the norm.  For some reason I have just never been a big fan of meat.  I would eat the meat just because it's there & I'm supposed to, but I really liked all the meatless dishes & side dishs SOOOOO much more than the meat!

So, as I was saying, almost a year ago I returned to my vegetarian ways.  I had pulled out some of my old favorite recipes & was happy as can be.  But my hubby sadly commented that he couldn't share any of the dishes with me because most of them contained dairy.  I had actually never noticed that so many vegetarian recipes do contain dairy.  The sadness I saw in my hubby's comment affected me & I decided to start looking for dairy free vegetarian meals so that I could share with him more.

I started finding that the easiest way to make sure a recipe was dairy free was that it was vegan.  I had actually never considered following a vegan diet.  I never thought it was doable for me.  For some reason I saw it as an "all or nothing" type of thing.  I have to admit that I hate (& refuse to) be really legalistic about a diet.  So if I see roast beef or prime rib or a turkey sandwich & I find myself wanting it I'm gonna eat it, I allow myself that freedom.  That being said, it's really super rare that that would happen for me.  But I think it was this point that made me first cross the line from vegetarian to vegan.

My one form of entertainment that I CANNOT live without is reading.  It's like therapy for me.  I HAVE to always be in a book.  It takes me waaaaay longer to get through a book now that I have a toddler, but I am still ALWAYS in a book.  My hubby & stepson have the TV to watch (they are NOT book worms, they LOVE TV)  I gave up all my magazine subscriptions to save money, but I occasionally order a book, usually on amazon because it's cheaper.  So for a while now I've been working on vegan books.  I first started with one that was all about WHY you should be a vegan.  The next one covered some of that & also had recipes.  I remember reading it & then looking at the recipes & feeling like they were so foreign.  A lot of the ingredients were not items in my kitchen already, at least not on a regular basis.  Some were things I've never heard of. 

I love to cook & I am a pretty good cook.  But I had to admit that I felt uncomfortable & awkward trying to cook vegan.  So I decided I needed more recipes, but wanted some plain old regular type recipes, nothing unusual & weird (at least to me).  So I went looking at the local health food store, on their book rack.  I found one & bought it.  I have to admit my toddler was being fussy & I was feeling really rushed.  So I didn't look at it too thoroughly, but I liked that it was ALL recipes, there were no chapters on WHY you should be a vegan.  I didn't need that info, just needed to get cooking.  Once I got home & had put my groceries away & had time to look at the book I realized it was ALL latin based recipes.  How awesome is that??  I also really liked the style of it & looked up the author, only to find that she had co-authored several other vegan cookbooks as well.  So over the course of the past year I have gotten the other cookbooks.  I love that the style of it is REAL cooking, not using expensive processed pre-made vegan foods.  One of the many reasons I went vegan was to save money & I do eat for VERY CHEAP these days.  And these cookbooks follow along with that line of thinking, which I love.

So now that I'm starting to feel a little more comfortable with the basics of vegan cooking I pulled out that first cookbook that I had gotten.  The one that seemed so foreign to me.  And I now find that very few of the recipes &/or ingredients feel that way to me.  I am now definitely engulfed in the vegan world I guess.  I am still always trying out new recipes & am very cautious & skeptical, but am happy to say that most of them are much better than I expected them to be.

Personally I think any move you make toward eating better is a good thing.  And any meal or day you eat vegetarian or vegan is awesome!  But I am finding that a lot of vegans don't feel that way.  Honestly, I don't understand why we can't just get along.  Why are some vegans being all snotty about this?  We all have the same goal in mind--to be healthier.  But I have found that there are vegans who insist that it's an "all or nothing" thing.  That if you aren't following a STRICT vegan diet & complete way of life (no leather, no cosmetic products that are tested on animals or have animal byproducts in it, etc) you CANNOT call yourself a vegan.  Some argue that they should call themselves a "strict vegetarian" & others argue that they should say they follow a "plant based diet".  Personally all this terminology is very childish & irritating to me.

Conversely there's the other side of the spectrum where I see a new generation of vegans.  I guess I'd say they're a little more like me.  They consider avoiding honey "old school" vegan ways.  Personally I refuse to give up honey & doubt that I'll ever change my mind on that matter.  But I am very aware that that is not vegan, since honey is produced by an animal. 

I guess that's all the rambling I have for now.............

27 month updates on Lil J

Just a super quick update, not a whole lot to report.

Weight: 32 lbs (75-90%), height: 36" (50-75%), head circumference: 20.5" (>95%).

He knows his entire upper case alphabet very very well now. We've been working on lower case for a few days now & he is doing well. Sometimes he knows all of them & sometimes he still struggles with "b", "d", & "q".

When we first started the lower case letters he was fine with letters like "s" & "o", but with letters like "e" & "a" he would look at me like "are you sure mommy?" & he'd give me this little smile as if he was expecting me to say I was just kidding.

My favorite moment was with "j". It doesn't look too different from "J" so he said "j" but then casually added "hi ball". As if "ball" had decided to pay "J" a visit. I could not stop laughing & Lil J honestly couldn't understand what was so funny.

Thats about all I have for updates at this time.