The disappearance of sin

The whole idea of sin has virtually disappeared from our culture.

The concept of "sin" has been accommodated to fit secular sensibilities.

Strong Biblical words for sin have been excised from our vocabulary. People no longer commit adultery; instead they have an affair. Corporate executives do not steal; they commit fraud.

We often indulge in what the author calls "respectable" or even "acceptable" sins without any sense of sin. We often gossip, harbor hurts, are selfish, have a critical spirit, are impatient, & even angry. God has not given us authority to establish values for different sins.

It is not just the breaking of a single command; it is a complete disregard for the law of God.

Of course there are many godly, humble people who are exceptions. But there is a vast multitude who are quite judgmental toward the grosser sins of society but who seem pridedully unaware of their own personal sins. A lot of us live somewhere in between.

But God has not forsaken us. For those who are true believers, God is still our heavenly Father, & He is at work among us to call us to repentence & renewal.



These are excerpts from "Respectable Sins" by Jerry Bridges

Facing up to the truth of our sin

In 2 Cor 1:1 we are referred to as "God's church", "holy people".

In 1 Cor 1:2 we are called "holy".

Of course we know that the Corinthian church (whom these letters were addressing) was quite carnal. One might refer to them as wordly or immature, but "saints"??

In Romans 1:7 we are "loved by God".

The greek word for saint is hagios. It refers not to one's character, but to a state of being. Its literal meaning is "one who is separated unto God". In this sense, every believer-even the most ordinary & the most immature-is a saint. A saint is simply someone who is sanctifies. Every true believer has been separated or set apart by God for God.

The Biblical meaning of saint is "someone whom Christ bought with His own blood on the cross & has separated unto Himself to be His own possession.

We dont become saints by our actions. We are made saints by the immediate supernatural action of the Holy Spirit alone who works this change deep within our inner being so that we do, in fact, become new creations in Christ.

If we are honest with ourselves, we know that nearly every waking hour, we sin in thought, word, or deed.

We should always keep in mind that we are saints called to live a life that is set apart for God.

Be in your behavior what you are in your state of being.

The Bible has a word for conduct unbecoming a saint. It is "sin".



These are excerpts from chapter 1 of "Respectable Sins" by Jerry Bridges.

Respectable Sins

In September a new women's Bible study session was starting up at my church. I decided to sign up. I feel like Ive been sort of stagnant in my spiritual walk for a little while feeling like Im standing still & not learning & growing like I desire to.

At the last church we fellowshipped at they REALLY REALLY (did I mention "really"?) emphasized being in God's Word DAILY & every single day. At first I thought it was a little exaggerated but as I pondered it more I could see a multitude of reasons why this was good to do. I definitely did my best & gave it mu all but I always ended up failing on days that I worked. I worked 12 hour shifts & had to get up at 5am & got home after 8 pm, barely had time to eat & was ready for bed. I was never able to be successful on days I worked. Now that Im a SAHM I am able to do it. Its challenging with a toddler but I cant even remember the last time I failed. Last Febryary I started the one yearBible reading plan. I have not missed a single day. I like the way its organized-a little OT, a little NT, a little psalms, & a little proverbs.

In all honesty I was a tad disappointed to see them using a book, rather than just the actual Bible itself. BUT I must say that this study is amazing, just what I needed. The title is "Respectable Sins", the author is Jerry Bridges. I highly recommend EVERY Christian to go through this study.

I hope to find time to post more on this topic.

Why can't moms just get along??

A friend of mine very recently posted a blog that really got me thinking about this topic.  It doesn't seem to matter what choices you make as a mother, there's gonna be mothers that want to criticize you.  I suppose this is true of a lot more things in life than just motherhood.  But somehow, at least to me, motherhood is different, set apart as it were.  Being a mom has totally awakened the inner "mother bear" in me that was forever in hibernation mode prior to having my son.  Most moms really think their decisions through & make what they feel is the absolute best choice for their child/children.  Every family & family situation is so different from each other that it's truly impossible for someone else to make those judgments & criticisms.  As a mother we bring to motherhood all of our past experiences & knowledge gained as well as trying to learn as we go the best we can.  I often hear people saying something about a choice a mother made & I stop to think "what if it was me they were talking about?"  I am far from perfect & have definitely made my share of mistakes in my life & I'm sure I have plenty more to make in the days I have left on earth.  But I definitely think things through before making a decision & I definitely try to make the best decision for my child.  And so whenever I hear someone making a critical comment about a mother I almost always throw in my 2 cents & say something along the lines of "I'm sure she's doing what she feels is best for her child" & that does usually end the negative conversation.

I know for me I am aware of being criticized for being a SAHM.  I am sure I have received other criticisms as a mother, but not to my face (& really, how is that right?  to be willing to say things behind someone's back, yet not to their face?  The more time goes on the more that issue deeply bothers me & I refuse to do it).  Anyways, I've heard plenty about me being a SAHM--that I wasted so much time & money on my college education, that financially we'd be doing better if I was working, the list goes on & on.  And it's really no one's business, it doesn't even affect anyone except my little family.  But hubby & I discussed it & we both felt it was the best for Lil J if I stay at home with him.

And I have a tremendous amount of respect for Dr. James Dobson & he stresses over & over that parents should do whatever it takes to have a child be able to stay at home with a parent at least until they are 2.  He says it has a huge impact on their future relationship with their parents as well as their overall development.

But of course not everyone is able to stay at home with the kids no matter what they do.  And there are even mothers who don't want to stay at home.  And there are even mothers who also work out of the home (talk about tough!!).  And I know plenty of families where one parent works day shift & the other works night shift & that way the child is never left with anyone other than it's parents.  There are so many options.

My heart always hurts for mothers who HAVE to work yet don't to.  I always try to comfort them by reminding them that at least they get a break & get to socialize with adults.  I mean, if I had to guess I would say the work at home moms have it the toughest.  But second to that would be the stay at home mom.  I LOVE being a stay at home mom but it is very challenging at times.  There is NEVER a true break.  And when sharing this with working moms I have even been criticized by other stay at home moms for saying such a thing.  Mind you, there's quite a trend nowadays to call yourself a stay at home mom yet have a maid & put your child in day care.  And then there's people who drop their child off with a relative or friend or day care for every little thing they need to do.  THAT would definitely make being a SAHM easier if you ask me.  But that also means you don't have any business judging or criticizing SAHMs that don't have maids & don't have sitters.

I, personally, have to drag my kid on every single errand.  And it is TOUGH, let me tell you.  He doesn't always behave & I have to work around napping schedules, etc.  Grocery shopping is the absolute worst.  I have to make 2-5 stops & I do them as fast as I can, & then when I get home I have to put it all away.  And the whole time I have to keep an eye on his attitude & prevent a total meltdown.  I usually leave the house at 9am & get home at 1 & am not done putting it all away until 3.  It is so exhausting!  I have to clean my whole house while keeping him entertained, I have to cook (I know lots of people eat out or eat take out or fast food, etc--but I actually cook, most of it from scratch mind you), & I have to try to get errands ran when needed.  I even drag my kid with me when I go to the doctor--does anyone know how hard that is????  The only time I actually got a sitter was for ultrasounds & MRIs that I had done.  So I would really like someone to spend a week in my shoes before they choose to criticize me.

Alright, so today's blog was a bit of a rant, I haven't done one of those in quite a while.

Unforgettable moments in potty training

Potty training is challenging at times. And no matter how frustrating an accident may be, I always remind myself (especially in the early days) that this is all foreign to Lil J & I cant expect him to learn it immediately & I cant get mad or punish him for an accident. And I also try hard to not embarrass him when he has an accident, as I can tell he is usually embarrassed about it, so I do my best to minimize the embarrassment factor him.

Lil J cant pull his pants & undies up & down well, so in the mornings, while I workout & shower, I leave him in just a shirt & he uses the potty on his own.

One day early on in potty training I came out of the shower & found poo poo on the living room floor. I could see that Lil J was extremely embarrassed about his accident. I gave him a kiss & told him next time try to make it to the potty & I cleaned it up. I first picked up each piece of poo poo with a baby wipe & then I cleaned the carpet. The whole time Lil J stood there, watching me, with his head hung down in shame. I felt really bad for him.

A few days later I came out of the shower & found on the living room floor a pile of baby wipes full if poo poo. Lil J had had an accident & had tried to clean it up for me. Oh what a moment-my heart just melted when I realized what had happened.

As touching as this was, after this incident I started focusing on teaching him to NEVER touch poo poo. (Especially since when hes in the yard he'll point at dog poop & yell "poo poo"!)

Its been a very long time now since hes had any accidents like that. But just last weekend (while my hubby was here even) I came out of the shower & Lil J came running to me. He grabbed me by the hand, pointing & saying "poo poo". He led me to the dining room. Hubby was sitting at the dining table, balancing the checkbook. I asked hubby if J had pooped, that he was telling me there was poo poo over here. Hubby insisted he hadnt when we both spotted a big poo poo log amongst Lil J's toys. We quickly cleaned it up & I thanked Lil J for telling me. And me & hubby laughed SO HARD. It was such a funny monent.

Ah the things you go thru once youre a parent!!

Reflections of being a new parent

I recall vividly when my son was born. I was so anxious about caring for him & knowing what to do & being a good mother.

I am the youngest in my family & was really never around children as I grew up. They were somewhat foreign to me. Later in adulthood a few friends had babies & young children & I always felt a little unsure around them. I certainly never did anything (like holding someone's baby) without them offering. And so I can so clearly remember the moment it dawned on me that my son was MINE. And the fact that I could hold him & kiss him without needing anyone's permission. That was quite a moment & I was all alone with my son when that monent happened. It will always be a very special memory for me.

Another special memory: when I asked my nurse if I could walk to the nursery & get my son. As the words "my son" came out of my mouth it was surprising & exciting at the same time.

Amd I recall in the early days when hubby would call him "son" I kept thinking he was referring to my stepson. I had received a lot of rejection from my stepkids & some of my inlaws in the past & somehow I had expected that rejection to be passed on to my own son & it was shocking to me that it wasnt, especially in those early days.

And I remember those early days were soooo tough. I couldnt get ANY sleep. Ive always been the type of person that can handle anything, but let me get a good night's sleep first. And I can skimp on sleep occasionally even, but in those early days it just goes on & on with no end in sight. Of course add to that the fact that my son had colic & it really made for a miserable time.

I remember I kept asking people "it gets better, right?" & no one ever gave me a "yes". Of course it did get better. Around the 4th month things started to settle down, the colic oassed & he even started to sometimes sleep thru the night.

I also found the fact that it was the first 3 months of parenting that I found toughest. 3 months has always been significant for me. I remember the first 3 months of my marriage were rough, it was a much bigger adjustment than I had expected. 3 months is always the length of time it takes for my body to fully respond to a particular workout. 3 months is the official full length of time your body needs to recover after childbirth. I know theres been other significant 3 month windows in my life, I just cant recall them at the moment. Ive also even seen a book about surviving the first 90 days of marriage. When I saw that I was excited to realize Im not the only one with the "3 month" windows in my life. :)

So to sum it all up: when a new parent asks you if its gonna get better, be sure to tell them YES. :)

Skin changes with motherhood

Alright, Im really gonna "try" to post a blog every day this month, we'll see how it goes.

So I always had SUPER oily skin. It was very irritating & people often told me that after having a baby it wouldnt be so bad.

Ive spent my life rarely using moisturizer. And when I did occasionally need it (usually in the winter months) I always had to use an oil free variety.

For the past couple of years Ive been struggling with dry & irritated skin. A couple of times I went to buy a moisturizer & when I read the label & it said not intended for oily skin Id change my mind.

Its taken me a while to come to the realization that I dont have oily skin anumore. I wouldnt necessarily say I have dry skin either, probably "normal".

So yesterday I finally did it, I took the plunge & bought a moisturizer for normal to dry skin. Its from derma e, my absolute fave skincare company. I put it on my face last night at bedtime. This morning I already feel some relief which Im really grateful for.

Is it just me or is that very odd, hacing the oil level in your skin change after having a child?? I wonder on the why & how of it. The only thing I can think of is a change in hormone levels must take place. If anyone has any knowledge on this situation Id love to hear it.

The death of the diaper bag

When I was pregnant with Lil J I went to pick out a diaper bag (among plenty of other baby items) & I immediately knew which one I wanted.  It needed to be a neutral color of course (since we chose to not learn the sex before the baby was born), but most were too small in my opinion.  I knew I wanted plenty of room to stash stuff that I would need on the go for the baby.  It seemed there was only ONE large diaper bag available & it was green & yellow & had ducks on it.  It was really cute & totally perfect in my opinion. 

And in those early days my extra large diaper bag was filled to maximum capacity quite often.  I remember seeing other moms with much smaller diaper bags & wondering how on earth they managed.  But I have always been the type who likes to be prepared for anything that might come my way, so I probably tend to pack more than most moms I figured. 

I know I always considered the fact that you never know when the car might break down (or when we might be evacuated from our home & not able to get in to get baby supplies).  And we did have one or two occasions where the car did break down unexpectedly.  It was after those occasions that my hubby really appreciated that I was prepared for just such a situation.  I mean, who wants to be stuck somewhere waiting on a tow truck with a hungry baby screaming & crying & not understanding why there's no more milk, diapers, fill in the blank etc. 

But after Lil J turned a year old I found the diaper bag to be much less empty.  I just didn't need as much stuff anymore.  Diaper changes & feedings were less frequent & he was no longer on formula (goat milk & goat kefir at that time, which I kept in a small insulated cooler rather than the diaper bag).  I didn't have to change his clothes as often also. 

When I delivered Lil J the hospital had sent us home with a free diaper bag full of goodies.  It was green & had frogs on it, but it was much smaller than the diaper bag I had purchased.  I stashed it away, thinking later on I might have use for it.  And so I did.  After he turned a year old I switched over to this diaper bag.

And lately I keep finding even this diaper bag quite empty.  Lil J is now on rice milk, which I keep in that small insulated cooler.  And he's potty training, so I only need to carry a couple of extra pull ups & a pack of baby wipes.  I do usually have a snack on hand, but it's still a small amount of stuff compared to how it has been in the past.

Prior to having a baby I ALWAYS carried a purse.  I always had very small purses, but I did always carry a purse.  After having a baby I quickly grew tired of juggling a purse AND a diaper bag AND a baby.  And so I had condensed the contents of my purse down to a very small zipper bag (like a pencil bag, but smaller) & I just kept it inside the diaper bag.  When shopping I just put my money in my pocket & was purse-free, only carrying a baby.  It made life much simpler for me.

I've been debating for a little while now if I should just retire the diaper bag completely.  And so I've finally done it.  Yesterday we were at JC Penny shopping for under shirts for hubby & I stopped to look at the purses & found one I like.  I still have my pre-baby purse, BUT it's really really small.  This time I bought a large purse, so that it can also hold pull ups, wipes, snacks, etc. 

It's the end of an era, just one more nail sealed on the coffin of having a baby so to speak.  I really can't say I have a baby anymore, just a little boy now.  How quickly it happens. 

30 month updates on Lil J

Today, October 20th, 2011, my stepdaughter turns 24! And my toddler turns 2 1/2. People are always astonished when they learn we have an adult, a teen, & a toddler hehehe.

So Lil J is now 33.2 lbs (75-90%), 36" tall (25-50%), & has a head circumference of 21" (>95%)

Despite the tantrums & "terrible two" phase, this is really a FUN stage we are in.  He is such a sweet boy.  He is always so desperate to help me with whatever I am doing.  Just this morning I went grocery shopping.  After we get home I bring in the bags of groceries & leave them at the entrance of the house.  Then, after all the bags are in the house, I move the bags to the kitchen so I can wipe everything down & put it away.  After carrying the first trip of bags to the kitchen I turned around to find Lil J struggling hard (but not giving up) to carry a bag over for me.  His little face was so precious.  I could see how much it meant to him to be able to help mommy.  Of course I pour on the praise & let him continue one bag at a time, no matter how long it takes him.  He was BEAMING when he finished with the last bag.  My heart literally melted.

And he's finally in a stage where we can have a conversation.  And he's learning sooooo fast now.  He has new words & phrases constantly, I can't even keep up.  And he WANTS to learn.  He often points to things & asks me what it is so he can learn & know what to call it.  He is such a smart & sweet boy.

Most days he no longer takes naps.  Occasionally he still does though.  And on the days he doesn't he sometimes go to bed for the night early  sometimes he stays up to the same time as if he did nap.  It's taking a little adjusting to get used to it all, for me I mean.  I'm just trying hard to be flexible.  And some days if I feel I need a break or if I feel HE needs a break I put him in the bedroom for "quiet time".  And I stress to him that he doesn't HAVE to go to sleep, but he does HAVE to be QUIET.  That is my only requirement.  And some days he will fall asleep & some days he will just play quietly. 

Part of me misses the nap, mostly because of the time it gave me to be able to focus on things & really get stuff done.  But part of me is looking forward to a nap-free schedule.  I mean, for the past 2 1/2 years there's been huge slots of my time where I can't leave the house &/or make appointments, etc.  So in that sense it will make life easier to end the napping, & as long as he continues to be agreeable with quiet time, allowing me to get things done that require a lot of concentration, then it's all good.

I think that's all the updates I have for now.

Potty Training, continued

So this last Saturday I finally made the decision to use pull-ups.  I know there's a huge debate out there about this & I know that the "3 day method" that I followed is totally & completely anti-pull-up.

It was a tough decision.  I have always had a hard time giving up on things.  I can see hope of a change right around the corner & I'm hanging on for it.  And yet I'm getting more & more stressed out waiting & waiting & waiting for that change to come.  This pattern holds true for a lot of things in my life, not just potty training.

The glimmer of hope for me is the fact that he can stay dry overnight & during naps.  And there are some days with absolute perfection all day long.  But then there are randomly days where he pees all over himself & there are lots of times where there's just a small wet spot on his undies & it usually goes through to his shorts or pants.  And so even though it wasn't a full blown peed on himself, I still have to change his undies & pants/shorts.  And it still creates more work, more stress, not to mention more laundry.  Since I began potty training I have had a minimum of 1 load of laundry every single day from his "accidents".  So yeah you can say that pull-ups are costly, but so is laundry.  Laundry requires water, gas, & electricity!  Nothing cheap about it.

Even though I feel like I waited too long to make the pull-up decision, I do think if I had done it too soon he wouldn't have been as successful as he has been.  He wouldn't have been as aware of his accidents.  I still put him in undies & no pull-up at bedtime & he still wakes up dry in the mornings.

So even though that was a seriously stressful 6 weeks of my life or so, I do think it was a good investment.  And as he matures & is ready we will be able to ditch the pull-ups.  I was really worried about him going backwards if I switched to pull-ups.  And I know it's only been a few days, but so far he hasn't gone backwards at all.  But I feel like all the stress of it is gone now.  I don't have to worry about him flooding the carpet, couch, his clothes, etc.  I have taught him the basics & will now let him proceed at his own pace.  He is still telling me when he needs to go, for both poop & pee.  And he is telling me at home, out shopping, etc.  The only wet pull-up I've seen so far was at church on Sunday.  And I don't understand why we have issues at church, but we have all along & so it continues.  I'm not gonna stress out about it anymore.  At some point it will stop.

And so that's a huge load of stress off of me now, thank you Jesus.  I can just sit back & wait for him to progress to perfection on his own.  And now I can focus more on teaching him to pull his undies & shorts/pants up & down by himself.  :)