Saturday, November 12, 2011

Parental observation

It seems that everywhere I go parents don't want to watch their children.  I've been observing this since before Lil J was even mobile.  I kept wondering about it.  When I ask hubby (who has 2 grown kids already, so he has plenty of experience) he would agree with me & say that he felt it was wrong.

I can remember being at someone's house & no one watching the kids & one of the kids was sharing their desert with the dog!!  (eeecccckkkkk!!!)  It was one bite for the kid & one bite for the dog (yes, the same spoon!) & on & on it went. 

I've been to houses where kids are pushing other kids around (both where it's been done with bad intentions & where it's been done just because the smaller & slower child is in the way, no bad intentions, but still not nice).

Yesterday was Friday.  Every Friday I go to Bible study in the morning at my church & then I take Lil J to a park.  So far I go to a different park each time, seeing what each park has to offer.  So yesterday we went to a park.  There were 2 couples there & 4 kids.  The kids were around 4-7 years old I'd say.  Much bigger than Lil J.  Now ok, maybe they know their own kids & feel comfortable with not watching, just chatting away.  But when someone new shows up I would think they would want to pay more attention.  But no, they just keep on chatting & ignoring their kids.  Now mind you the one kid had a bag of chocolate bunny crackers.  He was offering them to Lil J.  I had to ask him several times to not do that before the father told him to stop.  I explained politely that my son has a lot of food allergies.  However, this kid was burying the crackers in the sand at the park & THEN eating them.  I suppose maybe the parents are ok with this, but I kinda doubt it.  They just aren't paying attention.  After being there an hour I was truly exhausted.  I didn't go there to watch FIVE kids, I went their to watch my kid.  And so I left.

I told Lil J that if the playground at our community club house wasn't crowded we could go & play there for a little while.  When we got there there was no one there.  Later on a woman came with a 6 year old son.  She was the same as me, very attentive to what her son was doing.  Her son was very well behaved & was very considerate of Lil J, being that he's so much younger.  He even played ball with Lil J for a little while.  Thn he moved to the basketball courts with his mom & me & Lil J were alone again for a while & then we headed home.

But I keep wondering why people don't want to watch their kids.  While watching Lil J I am teaching him manners & good behavior & what's right & wrong, especially with other kids.  These are really important things in my opinion.  I'm not at all saying I'm right & others are wrong, but I am wondering WHY they choose to not pay attention to what their kids are doing.

I would love to hear other's thoughts on this.  Comment away folk, please.

1 comment:

Danielle-Marie said...

Yeah, I've noticed this too and it actually scares me. We were at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I had Hannah in my arms and Ryan was walking with Landon. Well he let Landon out of his sight for a second and when I realized Ryan didn't have him I just panicked. Landon was only hiding about 10 feet away but still. I was so upset with Ryan and I sure let him have it. We live in a world where babies are taken from their cribs in the middle of the night.

We also had an issue with one of my friend's kids bullying Landon. I've talked to her about her 5 year old hitting my 2 year old (for no reason at all, I'm not just saying this because I'm Landon's mother...I caught the kid just run up and punch Landon and then run away...and that's only one incident, there have been MANY). I don't know what it is but I'm thinking she either turns a blind eye on purpose or she just doesn't want to discipline her son. At Hannah's birthday party I watched her boy throw sand in the face of another friend's 2 year old. His mom did nothing then too, because she had her back to him. Why did she have her back to him in the first place? So unfortunately her little boy is no longer allowed to come over and play.

At the playground if Landon or Hannah is hungry I don't let them wander off with food. They can sit with mommy and have a quick bite to eat because the playgrounds here are busy and we had an incident at the splashpad when Landon was just over a year old...he was toddling around with a cookie and a kid who was about 4 came up, splashed water in Landon's face, and ripped the cookie out of his hand. No mother to be found.

Something I really love about my mom's side of the family is when we go to family gatherings I can relax. I don't have to chase after my kids constantly because I know as long as there is an adult in each room my kids are being supervised closely. It's just kind of a thing we do in our family. As a team we all look after each other's little ones. It's completely different in Ryan's family though. Thanksgiving one year I didn't even get to eat my meal because I was so busy keeping Landon happy, and nobody really helped me out. It's not their responsibility, of course I am Landon's mother but it was still a bit of a shock to me because I'm used to my family. And in my family, somebody would have finished their plate and said, "let me have him, you finish your dinner." Everybody is different I suppose.

Anyways, good post. Good topic for discussion.